The best clue is probably your own gut instinct, especially if you have never been suspicious or jealous before.
- Privacy. More phone calls taken privately; staying up later and using the computer after everyone is in bed; having the beeper always on hand.
- Schedules: More time away from home; longer working hours; more out-of-town travel; more evenings or weekend meetings. The explanations for these changes may be overly detailed, or they may be blanket excuses, such as "the new project" or "gotta work late" or "my class."
- Interests: A sudden and intense interest in a new activity that is deliberately not shared with the partner, such as motorcycles, sports cars, or dancing.
- Personal Habits: Preoccupation with personal appearance; abrupt transformation in hair or clothing style, especially a new image more appropriate at a singles bar; efforts to lose weight that involve changes in eating or exercise habits; purchasing new, sexy underwear.
- Children: Uneven and inconsistent attention to children, some times angry and impatient with them and sometimes lavishing attention on them; not noticing the routine details of children's lives.
- Money: Less open about expenditures; checks missing from the family bank accounts or questionable credit card charges; spending more money on restaurants, hotels, motels, or gifts or on enhancing own personal attractiveness and desirability.
- Personal Interaction with Spouse: Unpredictable behavior that can sometimes be rejecting or critical and sometimes overly clinging may give the impression that he or she would rather be alone and does not want to talk or be touched; may start arguments and storm out for a few mysterious hours away from home.
- Sex and Affection: May have increased sexual desire, and sex may be more passionate; new techniques may be tried or broached, or there may be avoidance of sexual contact - or both at different times; less spontaneous affection and fewer romantic kisses.
- Social Life: Avoids including spouse in familiar social settings with people from work or the neighborhood; or, may want to go out more with others and avoid being alone with spouse. One of the most predicative emotional cues your spouse may be cheating is no longer saying, "I love you" to you. Another predictive behavior is your partner always talking about their lover, or a reluctance to discuss him or her, stood out as signals of emotional infidelity. Remember marriage counseling can help you avoid divorcing and help you rebuild your marriage.
