So lets define “problem anger”. It becomes a problem when: It intends to hurt, punish, disparage, or avenge, rather than to build, protect, or defend. Contains malice, hatred, or hostile aggression (we will talk about the companions to anger). Is excessive (disproportionate to the offense) or out os control. Is too frequent, too intense, or lasts too long. Is badly timed. Keeps you constantly on edge, irritable, cynical, cold, critical, or sarcastic. Is chronic. Harms yourself, others, or relationships; leads you to do foolish things - like break furniture, or punch someone or something. Is marked by cruel behavior, including verbal, physical, or emotional abuse, cruelty to animals. Does not feel good; destroys peace; causes you significant distress.